My Shoes Are to Tight

My shoes are too tight. Something my father said. He was old, very old at the time. I went into his room, and he was sitting alone in the dark, crying. So I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "My shoes are too tight, but it doesn't matter, because I have forgotten how to dance." I never understood what that meant until now. My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance.

- Londo Mollari

As I sat meditating in the forest this weekend that exchange was one of the first things that popped into my head, 'My shoes are to tight'. I, too, never really understood what this ment. I just assumed it was a warning about doing things before you got to old to do them. Do things now before its to late. As I lay in the forest thinking, though, for the first time I understood what he ment. My troubles are to great, but that doesn't matter because I've forgotten how to dream.

When I graduated college I was so full of hope, and had so many dreams. Over the last four years I've slowly watched each one of those dreams die. Its seems like no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I work, I just can't get anywhere. I keep comming back to the same crossroads, wondering how in the hell I walked in a circle until I ran out of paths to walk. If each one leads back to the same point, what's the point in walking them again? I'm tired, and my feet hurt, but more importantly I've run out of dreams to chase. Before I can fix anything I have to learn how to dream again. Otherwise I really will keep walking in circles with a pair of ill-fitting shoes.