Fatty, Fat, Fat

I listen to NPR on the way to work mainly because I can't stand the morning shock jocks on the other stations, and I constantly lose my CD's. While this might mark me as an old foggy or something, it does provide me with an excellent source of unbiased news. One of the news reports this morning, however, really pissed me off. Seems the governor of Illinois, in his infinite wisdom, now wants to ban junkfood in schools. While the governor himself didn't say anything, only addressing school vending machines, there were lots of soundbites from his supporters. Many of these folks saw the law as a way to completely ban any junk food entering the school. One person even equated smuggling junk food into a school to drug sales, and calling for tough punishments for anyone caught doing so. Wow, just wow. You mean a twinkee could get someone in just as much trouble as a joint? Give me a break.

Look, the government just doesn't have the right to tell people how to live their lives, provided that what you do with your life has only a negligible impact on the lives around you. You know good and well that if the government tried a similar ban at the work place people would be up in arms, but since its just school kids who will be affected (and who cares about those little bastards), people just don't see the problem in setting what could be a dangerous precedent. While I doubt it will ever get to the point where we have secret underground twinkee smuggling rings, what other areas of our life might fall under this nebulous concept of 'public health'? Another try at a complete ban on alcohol? A total smoking ban? Only PG movies for sale at retail stores? Mandatory exercise periods? Health warnings on junk food (WARNING!! Eating this snack could cause a heart attack at age 40, shortness of breath during physical activity, and may cause the opposite sex to find you unattractive.)

If I want to eat myself to death on twinkees, drive without a seatbelt, smoke 50 packs of ciggarrettes a day, and chase it all down with a fifth of whiskey, why the hell should the government even care, provided, of course, that I'm not driving with the whiskey. Everyone in America, myself included, is perfectly aware that these things are bad for us. We all have parents, or legal guardians, we don't need the government to act as our baby sitters as well. We're capable of making informed decisions, even the vast majority of high schoolers.

Enough with trying to criminalize every possible health risk let people live their lives the way they want to, and let them accept responsibility for their actions. If a few people want to cry and say they didn't know driving without a seat belt could get them injured or eating that twinkee might make them fat, you smack 'em and say,

Listen fuck-nuts, of course you knew, you just decided to ignore it. Maybe you thought you were invincible, maybe you thought the rules of life didn't apply to you, but you knew it. Now take responsibility for your life, and accept the damn consequences.